Frank Works for the Man

Date: Mon, 30 Mar 1998 13:06:00 +0000
From: Scott Rettberg
To: Frank Marquardt
Subject: Who are you working for, man, quit your job

Frank Marquardt wrote:

Scott,

Let me ask you a question. I’ve got to write about Procter & Gamble. Headquartered, like you, in Cincinnati, in’t it? Do you know anybody that works there who could tell me about the company? Does Procter & Gamble play a role in the town say the way State Farm does in Bloomington-Normal? How so? How not? How does P&G’s presence manifest itself for the locals?

Okay, I know, I know, that’s several questions. But hey. I’ve got to write a report on P&G for job seekers thinking about working there. If you have names and numbers of P&G employees who would give me the “inside scoop” on the company, that’d be particularly helpful, especially if they can give it to me straight (the way I drink my whiskey).

Thanks!
Frank

Frank,

P&G is one of the most evil companies that I know of. Period. Seriously. If you look close enough, you can see Satan in their logo. Yes they have a lot of power in Cincinnati. They are known for particularly cruel forms of animal testing, strong arm tactics in the U.S. media, anti-homosexuality (family values), Olestra, and deeply entrenched Conservatism. Much of what is wrong with U.S. Television is directly attributable to P&G. I think Richard Powers’forthcoming novel Gain is going to be based on these scumbags. They are among the most flagrant examples of corporate hegemony in the country.

They’ve got great stock options, though, and treat their employees well. They control this town along with a few other evil companies.

I’d just give ‘em a call if I were you. I’ll bet they’ll give you tons of free PR materials, maybe even some soap. They need good PR, since, as I mentioned above, they are evil incarnate. Evil evil evil. I don’t have any of their numbers.