Dirk, you cannot, no. You will not, yes. Play yourself in any film that I direct. We got you the midgets. Isn’t that enough?
—Terry Gilliam, Director of The Unknown, a film of the Hypertext Novel by the Unknown.

Odd things happen to book and writers when they become famous. [sic]
—Ron Sukenick, in an interview with Larry McCaffery.

Always teasing the disabled, the miserable, Mr. Supposed Liberal Near-Socialist, while under that sleek Communalist presence lurks the mind of an Arch-Conservative Reconstructionist, bent on destroying the harmony we have established through mind control is cooperation, brotherly love and sisterly, our home is our one planet, we is I, I is we togetherness. Such enemies are dangerous. Their presence must be scrutinized. The point at which we stop becoming co-conspirators is the point at which they seek their own destruction. What is God? But people working for us, with us, in us.
—Dirk Stratton, comment made to Magic Johnson about friend and fellow Unknown, Scott Rettberg, Dec 28, 1999, at a Los Angeles Lakers-Indiana Pacers game, sidecourt.

It has really gotten out of hand. First William’s Bungie Jumping Accident, and now Dirk’s large-scale recruitment campaign. More of that in the midst of these solemn days. Yes, I think the cult has gone too far. I just want Dirk back to normal. If I’ve made some comments to the Press that were negative about my friend’s activities, it is only because I am concerned for his mental health, and for that of his acolytes. We’re trying to work with Terry to get this film done, and these things are all distractions. We need to turn down the media glare, and return to a celebration of the multimedia, community-based art that this whole project began with, and turn down the ego factor.
—Scott Rettberg, comment made to Ted Koppel, Nightline, Dec 27, 1999.

Phonies.
—Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye.

I tell you, I hate those lugubrious little f***ers. They stole all my ideas. I had this thing planned ten years ago. They directly stole my ideas. They borrowed things, if you call it that. Whatever, it was here before it was there. The Unknown is not by or about these three—

—I believe four, isn’t it Mark, if you include Mr. Marquardt?

—Whatever, four guys. The Unknown is all about Mark Leyner, and I wish the reading public would wake up and realize and process that before the turn of the Millennium.
—Mark Leyner and Charlie Rose, The Charlie Rose Show, Dec 15, 1999.

Yes, Mr. Stratton I felt violated me in various ways while I was enrolled in his cult program. I didn’t mind it at the time, but when I think back on how he sort of crept into my skull, I feel kind of creepy. But live and learn. It’s given me some great material for my next album. No hard feelings, really. It’s part of the danger of, the excitement of, living life, you know what I mean.
—Liz Phair, interview with Barbara Walters, Dec 21, 1999.

I have not seen or heard from my daughter for 47 days and 46 nights. This is a matter of grave concern, to me personally. She has missed her classes at Stanford, and though she is her own person, with her own thoughts, hopes and fears, just like any other American, I will not tolerate this kind of mind control. This is not the way that America should be entering the 21st Century. I can assure you that I will do all that is in my power to bring my daughter back to the fold, and back in school. Chelsea’s education is very important to Hillary, and myself, and she is not going to get it at the hands of this Dratton fellow.
—Bill Clinton, press conference, Dec. 30, 1999.

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