from A Fraud or From God?:
An Hermaneutical Investigation of
The Gospel of the Unknown

by Professor Max Blatzcroftheimusbergerolfkinson, B.A., M.S., M.Div., Th.D., Ph.D

. . . It takes not a whit of intelligence to ask the obvious questions such as: “Where are the missing pages of the Second Book of Signs?” and “Why are they missing?” The more radical, and much more interesting, query would be: “Where are the missing pages of The Gospel of the Unknown?” Forgive me, gentle readers; I know dropping such a bombshell without providing adequate warning was somewhat unfair. You have not heard about the Gospel’s missing pages? Do not be hard on yourselves: no one else had either until, like you, they read the words above, which instantly demolished what had been a tidy, understandable universe. Proof? Admittedly, most of what follows is conjecture bolstered by circumstantial evidence. However, and as a point of entry, simply consider the fact that it has always been more or less inconceivable that the Gospel that has come to us was in any way even close to being the complete record of the revelations of Dirk Stratton (Blessed be his name). That such a fragmentary, disjointed mish-mash of seemingly random musings represents the totality of the sublime teachings of our divine emissary (Speak his name with reverence) is simply not credible. That the Gospel author knew “Dirk” (Chapter 86 outlines my position on the Quotation Marks Conundrum Controversy), or, as some have suggested, actually was Dirk (Exalted be his name) seems even more incredible. In fact, I would go as far to declare such a belief to be tantamount to slander. Perhaps even heresy . . .