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ometimes,
Dirk thinks, as he sits in his kitchen with William, both of them waiting
for Scott to return from his late night laundry adventure, sometimes
it seems as though every time Scott comes to Cincinnati he brings a car
full
of laundry with him. Why is that?
He ponders raising the issue with William but decides against it. There
had been way too much pseudo-Freudian chin-stroking going on lately. Why
Scott couldn't seem to manage to wash his clothes in his home city but
instead felt compelled to spend his time and money in laundromats hundreds
of miles away would simply have to remain an ineffable ritual, best explained
in some journal dedicated to human oddities. It was a unique way of packing,
however. Instead of fussing over what to bring and trying to figure out
the fewest number of clothes necessary to cover the largest number of
possible contingencies, just throw a pile of dirty laundry in the back
seat and drive off. Wash what you need, when you need it.
You know how some people take theme vacations, like visiting all the Tiki
bars in a given state, comparing the paper umbrellas and the size of
their fruit slices? What if Scott is onto a new travel trend: laundry
vacations?
Or better yet, Official Unknown Laundry Vacations. Imagine this banner
ad on a website near you: Bored? Run out of clean underwear and worn
the
same pair of socks for three days? No problem! Let's party! Join Scott
Rettberg for the First Annual Unknown Laundry Vacation. That's right,
now you can hobnob with a major hypertext celebrity while he does his
laundry in cities all over America. Watch him carefully measure his
soap,
select the proper water temperature, and insert his quarters. Learn his
truly useful drying techniques and witness his deft lint removal. Buy
him a beer. Or beers. Dinner would be nice, too. Have I told you about
Electronic Literature . . . . .
Nah. Scott would never agree to commercializing the
Unknown in such a crass manner. Though William might, Dirk thought
with a shudder.
And that's what made Dirk so nervous about Scott and William's trip to
Atlanta.
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William and Scott talk to the Marriott Bartender 3
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