14 October 1999
further further adventures
of tinyman
Al Gore's campaign was spiraling out of the sky in a curlicue
of smoke. tinyman swept up from below and saved it
Bush was going to be named President and heir to the riches
of scandal. tinyman huffed and puffed and overturned the election results
Earthquakes erupted simultaneously in Turkey, Greece,
Taiwan, and Mexico. tinyman calmed down and with heroic mellowness managed
to soothe the tectonic forces into relaxation
There was a brilliant blue flash as radiation levels rose
to 10,000 times normal levels. tinyman, thinking acutely, steered clear
of that one
Taiwanese thugs massacred the Timorese people. tinyman
swept down, picked up the entire World Bank, and threw it into the sun
Some Serb declared Serbs the new Jews of Europe and a
major newspaper reported it and beneath a color photograph of a Serb
siphoning gasoline with a lit cigarette in his mouth pointed out that
the analogy was stretched. tinyman silently noted that the same newspaper,
two months ago, had referred to Slobodan Milosevich as Hitleresque,
and that that analogy had been equally stretched, and that, at this
point in history, any holocaust analogy was stretched
The Harold Washington library hosted a reading of the
hypertext novel the Unknown.
tinyman thought up an excuse for why he didn't attend, and instead checked
out the cows on Michigan Avenue
Russia bombed Chechnya. tinyman was relieved that NATO
or some other peacekeeping force didn't intervene
A wave of terrorist bombings swept through Russia. tinyman
went downstairs and knocked on the door of Osama Bin-Laden's apartment
and Osama Bin-Laden came to the door sleepily and tinyman asked him
if he was responsible and he said no and tinyman went upstairs satisfied
The Myanmar embassy in Bangkok was sieged and two Canadians
were taken hostage. tinyman had been born in Canada but was a naturalized
American
The West Nile virus broke out in New York. tinyman yawned
and drank a glass of milk and ate a slice of bread and went to bed.
the world ended
At 6:00 AM tinyman's clock radio came on, but there no
more stations, so he slept until noon. He awoke to save the world and
discovered it was too late and went back to bed
