Dear Alderperson,
Perhaps you do not remember me but you once autographed for me a copy
of your book: Save the World by Age 30.
I am writing to express my concern about the mayor's proposal to build
an elevated train connecting Urbana's Lincoln Square and Sunnycrest
malls. While the idea is charming, I am skeptical that the proposed
train will improve commerce at the two locations. I am further concerned
that it will be unsightly and cause noise pollution.
That is why I am proposing that the Urbana City Council consider, instead,
a series of canals and gondolas. I think that Cottage Grove, Philo,
and Green streets would be much nicer as canals. The noise pollution
would be reduced, and cross streets could be rebuilt with picturesque
stone arch bridges. Although the time necessary to pole or row a small
craft from one mall to the other might be ample, on days with favorable
weather conditions, the canal service could be supplemented with inefficient
but breathtaking hot air balloon rides from one location to the other,
depending on which way the wind was blowing. It is high time that the
twin cities began converting pavement into waterways, instead of the
other way around. As Champaign County's moral leader, I think the city
of Urbana should take the first step.
In combination with the Champaign-Urbana Solar-powered Subway (prospective
blueprints to which I believe I faxed to you yesterday) which will have
two stops: Urbana's Lincoln Square and Champaign's Country Fair malls.
I think this proposal will help reduce sprawl and provide for all the
twin cities' transportation needs.
Of course it goes without saying that Alderperson Huth's proposal for
free public horse-drawn carriage service will be an essential part of
the new plan.
I just want to make sure all the options are considered.
Thanks and keep up the good work.
William Gillespie
Ward 5
P.S. I was wondering if you wanted to come over sometime and see my
code violations.
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