INSURANCE PLANS SKIRT REQUIREMENT ON MENTAL HEALTH:
COVERAGE STILL LACKING

Washington [AP] (Associated Poets) Insurance companies and employers who offer mental health coverage will require their employees - both men and women - to wear skirts at all times, according to a new plan that is in the works. In some cases, the policy may extend to include mental hea lth professionals. The law, which goes into effect in January, is intended to benefit mental health patients. According to Doctor Hunter Adams of the West Virginia Medical Policy Institute, studies show that a sillier clinical environment can speed recovery. Insurance companies, anxious to reduce treatment costs by eliminating unnecessary pharmaceuticals and surgery, are working on rules that will also require the wearing of red rubber noses by insurance professionals, and even CEOs. Said Tim Winkle, the Chief Executive Officer in charge of Solid Rock Consolidated Amalgam Incorporated, "if, by dressing in a silly manner, I can spread mirth and mental health and happiness throughout my corporation and into the mental health establishments with whom we do business, thereby speeding patients' recovery and maximizing profits... why, I'd be a fool not to."