Michael Jackson was balancing the budget and collapsed onstage last night in Philadelphia. He became chairman of Chrysler and bought the rights to all their fenders, in an announcement announced this morning in Houston. Kevorkian in New York investigated the opening of the film of the young woman who was stabbed in a subway with a hypodermic needle by President Bill Clinton last night. Now here is President Clinton to give his impressions of the first feature length single fraem animation feature by Disney. OJ Simpson's first appearance on Saturday Night Live since his trial is anxiously awaited by harsh weather and hungry boll weevils next month. A K Mart has been built upon the premise that Native Americans are not Americans in Arizona this month. A Barbie Doll went berzerk in Manhattan this morning. Earlier this month in the wildnerness a lion was killed. Late this evening in Connecticut a dog will be hit by a car.

NEWSPOEM 9 DECEMBER 1995

PEORIA--68-year old Grace Cafaro's 1988 Mercedes drove through the fourth-floor wall of a parking garage at Southwest Jefferson and Fulton streets a little after 8 a.m. and fell about 30 feet and landed upside down crushing two airconditioning units on the roof of an enclosed loading dock at Peoria Savings Plaza. It took a dozen firefighters and rescue workers an hour to extricate her from her car.

Grace was uninjured, although she missed an entire day of her job as a court reporter. Rescuers report that she managed to get a lot of paperwork done while trapped upside down inside her flattened car awaiting rescue.