NEWSPOEM 12-5-1995

CHICAGO Associated Poets: It is dangerously windy today so be careful on overpasses. The wind commits a carjacking every five minutes. Last night the wind attempted to remove an automatic teller machine from the side of a building. The wind was unable to get away with the one ton machine. The wind is being transferred to Las Vegas to be released from prison after serving ten years on seven counts of sexual assault due to protesters protesting its release. Psychologists believe the wind is still a menace to society.