As I stare up into the clouds
I remember
how you taught me to be brown and proud
so many years have passed us by
and I’ll never understand
why you had to die.
Tonight, yo estoy pensando en ti, (1)
as you rest in peace
but I have too wonder
when will the violence ever cease?
Sixteen years old, and so smart
you had so much love stored
in your gentle heart.
School was something you were always
thinking about
however, in the “hood”
you could be found hanging out
to your hermanas (2)
you were your colors true
you were too brilliant
but banging is what you chose to do
Red white and green
the colors your heart did bleed
Mexican flag
and brown pride
Pistolas en sus manos (3)
hermanas at your side (2)
underneath your tongue lay razor blades
your hair up in braids
you were ready to rumble
never the one to stumble
in your face you never showed fear
but
I know in your heart there was a tear.
Smart enough to do whatever you wanted to do
so many people had love for you
you had so many dreams you will never complete
you gave up on your life
to run the streets
ran away from your familia (4)
from your casa (5)
decided
you would roll with La Raza (6)
I remember it as if it was today
on a cool calm night in May
viva Mexico (7)
mi vida loca (8)
we were celebrating at a fiesta (9)
for cinco de mayo (10)
I held you in my arms like I
always did
the hours passed and night began to end
to your house you wanted to walk
all alone
promised to call as soon as you
got to a phone
so I waited by the phone
for what seemed like a long time
with so many things running through
my mind
then the phone began to ring
the words I heard made my heart scream
Trumpets sounded
angels began to sing
to the heavens your soul
they had to bring
Wings were given unto you with love
from the heavenly one above
You now live in a paradise of gold
no longer
with your days and nights cold.
I hung up the phone
ran to the “hood”
on the corner
your hermanas with tears stood (2)
over your lifeless body
was your mother
so much pain
remove her, the police did not bother
she let out very deep cries
you were one more victim
claimed by a vicious drive-by.
Tears stained my face and slashed
at my heart
I looked up to ask God
why everything had to fall apart
when is the violence ever going to end?
why does this happen in the hood
over and over again?
I buckled at my knees, and fell to
the floor
I wish I could have held you once more.
Today
I search for your face in the skies
I wonder
can you hear my heart as it cries?
In my heart
I always hold you near
I’m often left wondering
what would’ve happened to us if you
were still here?
A love like yours
I’ll never find again
day and night
you remain on my mind
I wish I could trade places with you
but all this pain
would just make you feel blue
I would do anything just to see
you smile
You were a person of elegance
Damn, I wish I had one more chance.
As I sit here
looking at your tombstone
I feel so warm, yet so alone
I miss you, I really do
And somehow I know you miss me too.
Today
memories flood my mind
I often think about when it was our time
A moment forever suspended in time
until we are united
once my death bell rings its chime
I think of all the times
I held you
picked you up when you felt blue
but I can’t get past the night
everything went wrong
but I have to be strong
my heart tells me you’re resting in peace
but
my mind has to ask the question
when will the violence cease?
NOTES ON THE SPANISH
1. I'm thinking about you
2. Sisters
3. Pistols in your hands
4. Family
5. House
6. Race/heritage
7. Mexican power
8. My crazy life
9. Party
10 May 5: Mexican independence day
John
Searles
#R14717
Menard C.C.
P.O. Box 711
Menard, IL, 62259