Mark Enslin's headphones Eclectic
Seizure


Newspoetry Radio
11 October 2000

This broadcast, though somewhat tainted by a succesful pledge drive, was the first broadcast of Eclectic Seizure at the exciting new Wednesday night timeslot. Anna Bargar, Maiko Covington, Danielle Chynoweth, and William Gillespie were in attendance. The show featured old and new newspoetry and featured, in its second hour, a recording of a hilarious speech given by Michael Moore at the Ralph Nader rally in Chicago. Mike Lehman contributed some pre-recorded newspoetry as well, and the show ended triumphantly in an upraised middle finger, as, following Mike's poem about police brutality, William gave a shout out and dedicated a song to the Champaign Police department: "Your Redneck Past" by the Ben Folds Five.

Luckily, he was not pulled over on his way home.

Pitch #1

Danielle: When deciding how much money to pledge to WEFT, keep in mind that pledging money to WEFT is not like buying something, and you should not use the same criteria you would use when deciding whether to buy something.WEFT is not part of the market but is subject to market forces. Oh sure, the station takes money in and sends it out, but it is not the purpose of WEFT to make money. No, to make money is not our purpose, only our method: Our purpose is to enforce the law. The law says that the airwaves are in the public domain. Corporations are private entities and therefore are not legally entitled to broadcast. Not any more than Exxon is allowed to drill for oil in National Forest Reserve. Or even to spill oil into the Alaskan waterways.

William: (chiming in) Yes, the airwaves are a natural resource, and commercial radio is pollution.

Danielle: So we turn to the listener (that's you, by the way) and we say "we need your support." (support is a metaphor, the metaphor is that you the listener are the concrete foundation upon which our transmitter tower rests. In reality, we don't exactly mean that we need your support, what we really need is for you to donate a little of your money.) And, while we have you listening, considering this, let us point out that it may seem strange to you that you have to give your money to us, when the other radio stations (which clearly, from the sound of them, have much higher budgets and actual paid employees) are free. Why should you have to pay for the cheap one, when you can get the expensive one for free? Well, the fact is, commercial radio isn't free. You pay for it. You listen to the radio and you hear the advertisements for McDonalds and Miller Beer and you eat food from McDonalds and drink Miller beer and that money goes back to the station in the form of advertising revenues. And, more than that, you buy CDs. Yes, on a commerical radio station, even the programming is an advertisement: an advertisement for the latest Madonna album. And you aren't just buying cheeseburgers, lite beer, and Hall and Oates, you're buying AOL Time-Warner and Starbuck-McDisneys, and an entire ideology that says you are what you buy. But when you give money to WEFT, you don't buy WEFT. You buy WEFT some electricity. In effect, you are supporting a public institution, so your donation to WEFT is not the sort of disposable income you might fritter away on disposable commodities such as donuts or Don Henley albums, no, the money you give to WEFT is essentially tax. The portion of your tax that goes to support community radio. Pay your community radio tax. File now, at 359-9338. That spells FLY WEFT.

Pitch #2

Danielle: That was a sad pledge drive, but this is a happy pledge drive. Things are actually going quite well. We're really getting a feeling that the community is out there supporting us.

William: The community is holding the door for us.

D: Very chivalrous, yes, its as if the community is gallantly throwingthe overcoat of its financial support across the mud puddle of ourfuture operating expenses so that we, the radio station, can cross to the other side without soaking the shoes of our... our...

W: Creditors.

D: Creditors.

W: The community IS the color of our parachute.

D: (singing & playing guitar) When you're down and out

W: (speaking rapidly to cram his lines in between Danielle's) Nobody loves you

D: When you're in the street

W: Why don't we do it in the street?

D: When evening falls so hard...

W: When you just can't afford to pay that electrical bill...

D: I will comfort you...

W: and the station manager's paycheck bounces two months in a row...

D: I'll take your part

W: installments or payroll deuction, cash check or credit card

D: When darkness comes

W: Like a phone lighting up when all around is dark

D: And pain is all around

W: The FM dial, a long shopping mall

D: Like a bridge over troubled water

W: bypassing the market

D: I will lay me down

W: I'm going to be the visible hand! I'm reaching for the phone right now. Phone in your support 359 9338 and help keep community radio's feet dry.

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